When Woman’s Day sat down with legendary actress Miriam Margolyes, it didn’t take long for uncontrollable giggling fits to take over the chat. Our conversation began with the top news headline of the day, mushroom murderer Erin Patterson’s sentence hearing.
“I’d love to play Erin Patterson,” Miriam chuckled. “I hope they never let her out of prison, I don’t want her opening a cafe!”
Her often risque but always laugh out loud sense of humour, some of which made this interviewer blush, permeates her latest project, The Little Book Of Miriam.
Miriam describes it as an A to Z dictionary of standout moments, opinions and stories from her life and incredible six-decade career. “This is not a book you will find on a coffee table,” she says. “I pray you’ll find it in the lavatory – not for use as toilet paper but when you’re having constipation. It will let things flow more easily.”
While the book is filled with her trademark unfiltered and naughty humour, Miriam hopes readers will learn a thing or two about the world as well.
LIFE DOWN UNDER
British-born and raised, but an Aussie citizen, Miriam’s career highlights including her time travelling around her adopted home of Australia in her 2020 series, Almost Australian. That documentary series saw her become a grey nomad travelling around the country in search of what the Australian dream means to everyone.
“It’s the people that make the programs, I’m just asking the questions and I enjoy it hugely,” Miriam says. “I hope [they] show everyone is human and acknowledge that we all sh*t out of the same hole.”
She says she loved exploring Australia’s Top End. “Australia has an incredible beauty, the landscape takes a bit of time to understand and appreciate and the power of the rock.”
Miriam is no fan of the Gold Coast, however, calling Surfers Paradise “disgusting… those horrible structures along the coast that people should be ashamed of living in”, she says.
She became an Aussie in 2013 and famously called herself a “dyke” when then-PM Julia Gillard presented her with her citizenship certificate. Following Almost Australian, Miriam embarked on a similar adventure across the ditch for Miriam Margolyes In New Zealand, which launched in January this year.
And she’s not done seeing the world yet, recently revealing she and partner Heather plan to leave the UK and live in Tuscany. She also dreams of travelling to South America and Kenya to meet the elephants and rhinos she has adopted.
“I’m batty about animals and I love to see them being looked after and cherished,” she tells. “David Attenborough has had the life I would’ve liked… the only problem with animals is that they don’t speak!”
With more than 170 acting credits to her name, Miriam has made many A-list friends over the years that she still keeps in contact with, including Helena Bonham Carter and Stanley Tucci, who she met on The Graham Norton Show.
And she wishes she’d kept in contact with Black Eyed Peas frontman will.i.am, who was the first guest she met on the show, in 2007.
BRIGHTEST STARS
But she’s not afraid of clashes, either, going head to head with some of Tinseltown’s brightest stars, including John Cleese, Harry Potter creator JK Rowling and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“Arnie farted loudly, purposefully and malevolently directly into my face and then laughed uproariously,” Miriam says of her time filming 1999’s End Of Days.
“He did it deliberately because he knew he was the star and could get away with it.”
While she’s currently on a book tour across the UK, Miriam reveals she’s excited to share her new book with Australia next year.
“I want to make people laugh, but I want to make them think too.”
The Little Book Of Miriam is available now (Hachette, $34.99)
