- Pepa Ivanhoff took the leap into online dating in 2023
- When she was asked to fly to Portugal for work, she decided to take some time off and travel afterwards.
- She decided to make the most of her trip and use it to see what men the world has to offer by dating in each new city.
I sat in a local bar with my friend and filled her in on the latest happenings in my life.
“I’m finally taking the leap into online dating,” I told her.
It was 2023, and at 42, I’d always enjoyed life as a single woman.
I was happily child-free by choice and had always prioritised my career as a mural artist, travelling, my friends, and, until recently, my animals over finding ‘the one’.
After leaving the Gold Coast, where I was born and raised 20 years ago, I spent eight years living in southern California before moving to Costa Rica.
Living in a small, remote beach town, so dating was tricky.
But I’d recently been commissioned to paint a mural in the Azores, in Portugal, for two months, so I figured, why not take the leap into online dating, too.
I planned to travel afterwards to make the most of my trip and the men the world offers.
After Portugal, I’d fly to Spain, France, England, New York and Los Angeles.
“Dating locals will be a great way to see all the different cities,” I told my friend. “As they’ll have the inside knowledge.”
“Especially if they’re handsome,” she winked.
I had little experience with dating apps, so I asked my single friends for the best one to get on. Bumble was the winner.
“The rest are mostly used for hookups,” a friend told me.
Shortly after, I flew to Portugal to start my overseas adventure.
I downloaded Bumble and created a profile for myself, uploading pictures of myself with my blonde hair flowing freely, painting, surfing, and having fun with friends.
I’m an artist travelling for work, and my passions include art, design, surfing and horses, I wrote in my bio.
Soon, the messages came flooding in.
It was fun but overwhelming matching with potential suitors.
My first date was in Nazare, Portugal two months into the trip.
Matching online, I was drawn to his active lifestyle, and he came across as a gentleman.
“I’d love to take you out. I know a fabulous Michelin star restaurant” he offered.
Swiping mascara and perfecting my hair, I was buzzing with anticipation as I approached the restaurant.
But when my date arrived, I almost walked right past him.
He looked nothing like his pictures, and I debated whether to stay on the date.
Finding our table, we began talking when he let slip that he was married and had three children!
My jaw fell open, appalled.
“I’m done here,” I said, throwing my napkin on the table and walking out.
What part of “I am Single and Child-Free, please be the same” is not clear! I thought as I waited for a cab.
After finishing my mural, I shook off the horror date and vowed to enjoy the rest of my travelling.
Onward and upwards, I thought.
Each time I arrived in a new city, I checked the app for handsome suitors.
Scrolling through the sea of profiles, I looked for shared interests and values.
Child-free, tick. Single, tick. Sense of humour, tick. Mentally and physically fit, tick.
Over the next six months, I dated 24 men and went on around 40 dates in Portugal, Spain, France, England, New York and Los Angeles.
I’d update my location and the duration of my stay in each city.
Each country and culture made dating vastly different.
In Lisbon, I met a guy in a record store.
In New York, I met artists and photographers in their studios.
I went on coffee, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert dates and wandered museums, art galleries, and markets.
Before each date, I’d always take safety precautions. I’d make sure we meet in a public place and share my location with a friend.
In LA, the men were arrogant, entitled and most often liars. One date failed to mention he was married with kids, another lied about their height and used photos from years ago.
“I don’t appreciate having my time wasted by insecure people who can’t be upfront about who they are,” I told him.
Another tried to get handsy after a mediocre lunch, where he spent the entire time talking about himself.
However, the dating scene in London was full of gentlemen. They’d plan thoughtful dates, open doors, and were so charming.
This is so refreshing! I thought of finishing my dinner date at an exclusive members’ club.
My favourite date was in London, with a handsome photographer. It lasted six hours, and we never stopped laughing.
“I feel like I can tell you anything,” I said to him through fits of giggles.
“I feel the same,” he shared.
But while we got along famously, we both agreed there was zero sexual chemistry between us. We’ve kept in touch as friends and chat all the time.
Sadly, I didn’t fall in love during my travels, but I had a great time, met some interesting men, went to some fabulous places, and had so many amazing experiences.
Now, I’m shifting my focus to work again and giving my thumbs a rest from the apps.
I’m always open to meeting a potential partner, but I’m currently happy to focus on myself.
